Tragic Losses

As the Sun Sets on a Life...

I lost an old friend to cancer...That nasty disease that claims so many lives in our world. She had been battling valiantly for 12 years, experiencing many bony issues due to the constant chemo and health challenges. The most recent was hip surgery in May; a surgery that she had been recovering from before being setback by a bout of pneumonia. It was this pneumonia that ultimately ender her life; her last hurrah before passing.

Kelley lived life in many ways like I did. She received her undergraduate degree in Music Therapy at the college where we met as sorority sisters. Mine was in Occupational Therapy.  She finished schooling with her Masters in Speech Pathology, ultimately becoming a speech and language pathologist working with children in her local school system. I completed a Master's in Early Childhood Special Education and began working with children in their homes through a local community services board.  Kelley had a passion to help children achieve all they desired, and to encourage them to see themselves through the eyes of love and ability instead of through the eyes of inability and challenge. This, too, is my heart in serving children. It is a beautiful life and very fulfilling.

Yet ~ there was one area in which we were vastly different. Kelley didn't know Jesus. Many believe it doesn't matter as long as you are a "good person."  These that believe this do not understand the spiritual laws in place, which I get, as I was once there, too.  Kelley most definitely qualified as a "good person."  She was a downright amazing woman who loved lavishly, lived fully, and embraced the world and challenges head on with hope ~ all while continuing to extend encouragement and hope to others.  She didn't lie about her illness or her bad days, but she didn't let them define her.  She was a victor on earth if ever there was one ~ and she was an inspiration to many who knew her. I wish this life lived in love ended in love forever more...but it counted for nothing in her end as anything we do on earth does not make a difference in the final conflict of time when we don't know Jesus. Life is eternal and our death is a transition between states of being. We move from death on earth to eternal damnation if we have not been rescued by the one Savior sent to this world by our incredibly loving God. Jesus came to earth to serve the sentence we deserved for our transgressions against the laws of the Heaven.  He lived a spotless, perfect life and chose to be a living sacrifice, paying atonement for our misdeeds against God through death on a cross.  His death bought us life as he then defeated the devil in the game of death and took back the keys of sin and death that had been turned over to the devil by Adam in the Garden of Eden so long ago.  Those of us who receive Jesus's sacrifice on our behalf are immediately transferred from the kingdom of darkness into the kingdom of light (Colossians 1:13). No longer slaves to the kingdom of darkness which rules here on earth. 

 The devil loves deceiving us into believing that our lives are our own...

I had lost consistent touch with Kelley over the years, so we had that well known virtual relationship as Facebook friends.  We shared several of the same friends from our years at CSU and time spent in our sorority. Many still live in Colorado where we had met, and where Kelley resided, so they would get together regularly. I kept up with the gatherings via photos they posted on personal pages or on our group page. I did not know she was not a Christian. Many of her friends were. Had I known, I am not sure what influence I  may have tried to express from a distance, but more pointed prayers could have helped.  I just really didn't know, as she lived the way I believe Jesus would have called her to. However, speculation as to would have/could have/should have at this point is fruitless. 

A couple of weeks before Kelley passed, a mutual friend alerted me that she had tried talking with her about Jesus and had not been received. Kelley believed in a God of some sort ~ a "higher power." She had subscribed to the sweet and lovely spiritual lingo that is all over our nation; let's talk about love and kindness and heaven and the next life....New Age mysticism, which is doctrines of demons ~ a belief system run by the devil himself to keep people from knowing the Truth about Jesus. 

I began praying in earnest. I alerted other intercessors and we contended. I began sending encouraging notes with much more emphasis on eternity and Jesus instead of simple and sweet words.  As far as I could tell, she didn't receive them in any way except encouragement to her from the vantage point of "what I believe."  She lived by that great deception that we can all believe whatever we want and still be okay. It hurts my heart. 

My pastor said that 67% of Christians don't even believe in a literal hell ~ where does that leave the rest of the world, but in darkness to the Truth.  Many friends were wishing her peace and expressing spiritual love that had no basis.  The number sending notes in the 24-48 hours before she died that spoke to her about the "better place" she would be going, or the "peace" she would "finally experience" after so many years of this wearying battle were so hard to read. I wanted to scream at each of them ~ "NO!! SHE DOESN'T KNOW JESUS!! SHE BELONGS TO THE DEVIL BY LAW!! WAKE UP!! THIS IS NOT GOOD!."  Instead, I was silent, to hijack the well wishes with a sledgehammer was not going to work, and it would cause problems. Kelley was no longer up for visitors or interactions via messenger.

She had seen her son graduate college not long before passing, and she had experienced many lovely adventures with her children, stepchildren and family ~ she had "lived" and was being "allowed to let go."  Oh how my heart broke day after day when I prayed for her salvation.  God showed me she wasn't receptive during most of the times I prayed...I sincerely hoped that she would hear His heart beckon and said "yes" to the life eternal He was offering before she took her last breath. I have grave doubt that she actually did...I had sensed the LORD telling me otherwise...

Kelley, I wish you were not eternally separated from our Father and Love. I wish with everything in me that you had said YES to Jesus. Eternal fire is not wished on my darkest nemesis let alone a beloved friend. Hell is very real. Heaven is also real ~ and more glorious than we can ask or imagine (Ephesians 3:20). The choice is ours ~ we each must personally be held accountable to the spiritual laws of justice. 

So, I am again reminded of the vapor of our lives (James 4:14).  I would ask my readers ~ do you Know where you will be when you die? Are you Assured of your eternal resting place? If you do not know Jesus intimately, He says He will not know you when you desire to enter His kingdom, regardless of the "good" person you have been (Matthew 7:21-23)...

Oh, Kelley💔💔 how my heart breaks when I realize that the loss of your shine here on earth means an eternal loss of your soul ... I grieve that you just didn't know what you didn't know. How our Father's heart must break for His beloved ones who never take the time to explore the Truth of His Word and Love...(John 3:16)

I wish I could say "Rest in Peace" and be happy for you ~ but I can only express what I am sensing, which is a heavy heart that murmurs..."Now you know...but it is too late..."  Oh won't you readers choose Jesus today.  Oh my heart....😥 I must seek His heart for Hope and comfort...I must be still... and know that He is God, and He is always good. Good-bye, Kelley ~ you've passed into the fullness of eternity. I grieve the loss of your beauty and grace in this world.